jeudi, septembre 30, 2004

so we exchanged info, and she's supposed to come hang out the next time.

YEAH!

(track back like 15 minutes)
so i was supposed to go drunk-watch the debates with shomit, luke and abbey (and just about everyone else) but then i decided not to. and somehow we passed mint julep on the way back, and the party/reception was still going on, so we decided to stop in and M was there! we waved hi and i talked to stephers and maiya wanted to head back soon and i was like, wait i need to talk to this girl before we head off, so i ran over to get some wine and then ran back and "happened" to linger by them, and maiya "happened" to linger _away_ and then i went over to speak to her and she's just supercool and really quite adorable and yeah i'm going to ask her out for a drink or something in a few days.

YES

YES

YES we are drunk.

(sent from leonard's Sidekick)

Mint Julep

Mint Julep


we're at the opening reception of mint juep and steph and brooke
look gorgeous and have done an amazing job.

Oh that's maiya (catwoman) licking the ice sculpture.

(sent from leonard's Sidekick)

Mint Julep

Mint Julep


we're at the opening reception of mint juep and steph and brooke
look gorgeous and have done an amazing job.

Oh that's maiya (catwoman) licking the ice sculpture.

(sent from leonard's Sidekick)

Photo 04.jpg

Photo 04.jpg

(sent from leonard's Sidekick)

The sidekick is HERE!

The sidekick is HERE!<br>


Starving and in the office but we just HAD to take a test shot.
Omigawd I love my sidekick. (I am being quite the kid here. Whatever.)
(sent from leonard's Sidekick)

mercredi, septembre 29, 2004

i'm lazing in bed and now in two minds about yoga at 730. sleep seems so much closer than the arlington t-stop.
omigosh this is so cool, oh so cool!

i'm still in the office, and totally (totally!) digging the new interpol. and there's yoga today and anna can't make it but i think jeremy will and i don't know if i will be working late tonight maybe maybe not we'll see what happens yeah?

today admidst conference calls and work and lunch and breakast i somehow suddenly missed her immensely. i wonder how she's doing.

Flickr Test 3

Flickr Test 3<br>


Adam is wasted.

mardi, septembre 28, 2004

we're hanging in the living room wondering what to do about dinner. we're also checking out the new interpol album.

whoah - m83's website is super cool. supercool. super-cool. c'est super-cooool. non, c'est hyper-super-cool. ouais! c'est vraiment hyper-super-cool. check out the New Album section.

m83
m83
m83
m83
m83
observation 1: drinking white wine on a rainy evening, whilst on an empty stomach gets you buzzed (faster).

Flickr Test 2: perhaps this will work

Flickr Test 2: perhaps this will work<br>


so here's a scene from last year - luke and mo spiffing it up at the capital grill. (whilst leonard wonders if layout will work this time.)

who wants a gmail account? i can't seem to get rid of the extra invites - you give em away and more appear. it's like stds. email elroar(at)gmail.com.

FlickrTest: leo + tiff

FlickrTest: leo + tiff

it's raining out. i guess jeanne is here. i've a conference call in 44 minutes, another call in 14, and apparently a project plan to finish inbetween.

2046 french trailer - some of the most gorgeous images to be captured on film. wong kar wai and christopher doyle are gods.

lundi, septembre 27, 2004




terribly, terribly exhausted.

i couldn't sleep last night. worked till 2 in the morning then tossed and turned fitfully amidst imaginary narrations of pat bateman nonchalantly stabbing people and animals. and i thought too much about the morning meeting and later found myself still very much awake at 4 with the alarm set for 6 and a flight to catch at 8. sometimes i put on some music and i find myself following the songs intently in the false hope that somehow i'll drift off to sleep.

but the meetings went well i suppose, and i managed to catch the 430 back to boston so here i am, tired but unable to sleep.

i'm fucking freaking out about tomorrow's meeting.

dimanche, septembre 26, 2004

i can't seem to fucking concentrate on work. i've just coaxed myself to consume 2 espressos and i'd very much prefer to re-finish american psycho, rather than figure out stuff for tomorrow's meeting.

but i suppose i have no choice.

i miss having drive of some sort, any sort. i can't seem to figure out what's going wrong with me. we've so much going for us yet we're just fucking it all up.
so i cancelled the 430pm flight - somehow i just couldn't deal with leaving today. maybe it had something to do with a hangover. maybe it was random nerves. we played tennis in the late morning but that did little to clear or ease my mind. so expect me on the 830am flight out to la guardia. i'm wondering if we have time for a late lunch at balthazar's after the meeting. i'm wondering what shirt goes with that tie.

advice for young at heart, soon we will be older. when we gonna make it work?

last night's shag(rug) party was incredibly fun. most everyone was deliriously intoxicated and just really, really happy. i didn't really play host so i got to spend time with people i liked. maiya and kyle and pete and adam and kathy were there, stephers arrived later with her contingent of friends, sanaz was in town from north carolina, and tiffany was all about the jello shots. and it was beautiful out so we brought our wine glasses to the roof. at one point it seemed like all the girls were named michelle or sarah. i actually remember most of the party, which is definitely a good thing.

and i've got a crush on one of stepher's friends. gosh she was adorable.

samedi, septembre 25, 2004

i'm in a peculiar mood. i really ought to have arranged my flight to new york by now, but somehow i don't want to go anymore. not that i have a choice really, but suddenly everything's become strange. we're hanging out in the living room. i'm curled up on the shag rug, luke's finishing up jello shots for tonight's soiree, and i have no idea what jeff is up to.

i wonder if it's anything to do with the drinking from last night. for most of today i've thought it sunday but i just realized it's saturday. where is this muted sadness coming from? i see no reason for being listless and lost but here i am, breathing softly, with a bit of difficulty, and with my mind tired from mild anxiety.

i got my heart broken two weeks ago, but i think i'm ok now.

vendredi, septembre 24, 2004

( dirty laundry list )
- get shirts fitted
- call Mother
- call bro
- develop maybe 2 rolls on saturday? (then try out printing at 2.5, then darkening with 3.5 or 4?)
- get suit+shirt pressed for monday
- get new racket stringed
- arrange flight to new york
- gattaca
- send prints to the framer
- get wasted tonight, tomorrow
- design mo's halloween-birthday invite
- send timeline to clients; latest saturday before getting wasted

mardi, septembre 21, 2004

forgive me for running from work but Blue Monday just came on.

rejoice people o rejoice!
i'm doing some CDC research and came across this. it's totally and incredibly fucking retarded and it's crazy how there is the "need" for death and injury to get its own fucking terrorism label. gawd.

on a different note, luke and i are totally rocking out in the living room - it's 80s week at the Citgo Set - inspired by tiffany, pete and sarah, we'll be spinning just 80s music ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT, ALL WEEK. yeah!

new order (a bbc live recording) is finishing up, and leonard cohen (i'm your man) is up next. keep on trucking kids. have an awesome day.

hello jenn!

so leonard had a cat scan this morning. and wow it was neat. Computed Axial Tomography, or otherwise known simply as CAT or CT is a process that essentially takes like a gazillion (two dimensional) scans and then combines the scans to come up with three dimensional model of that body part, in our case leonard's super-gorgeous head. and if you have something called a CT with Contrast, which leonard did, then they inject you with an iodine-based dye that appears denser to the x-ray machine. et voila, you see the blood vessels better.

and so it was strange but cool - the iodine dye moving up through the vessels in my arm felt tingly but i'm not sure if it was just a flicker of the imagination. the nurse mentioned that my head would seem warm and it did, but then again, i have no idea, holding still can get stressful. and the whiteness and sterility of the machine reminded me both of 2001: A Space Odyssey, and Chris Cunningham's All is Full of Love, though i must admit at this point that i've never seen the former. there was a matted white toroid spinning about my head as the cradle slid me through the center. i could see into the side of the toroid and i got a bit dizzy after trying to stare inside.
and there's a concrete sky, falling from the trees again.

i've got a cat scan at eight and the temperature outside is about sixty. the sky's not cleared up but it's quiet and beautiful. not gray, but pale pale blue. no mist, no rain, no winds.

muted but somehow gorgeous and exhilarating, with a glass of wine left over from last night standing lonely and to the right of me.

dimanche, septembre 19, 2004

look, i'm trying to get over this. but i do miss you terribly.

samedi, septembre 18, 2004

oui, ca me fait mal.
non, nous ne parlons plus.

vendredi, septembre 17, 2004

i'll send you a letter from the frontline.
please send applause, and some good advice.
you were born with a compass, a map on your table.
tell me how did you find out your bearings were wrong?

just pray for us, pray for sunshine.
these days are cold, and i'm missing you.

the city is no place to lose,
but i never thought i could choose;
it was plain from the start i was playing for time.

i need laughter and love,
some special drug,
i need cigarettes.

jeudi, septembre 16, 2004

my
head
really
fucking
hurts.



someone
make
it
stop.

please.
pauline is in love! oh the adorable thing!

mardi, septembre 14, 2004

the meetings begin at two or so this afternoon. and i just noticed a whispy thread on my kenzo tie.

what the fuck?



i'm a complete mess.
why am i so afraid to be alone?

lundi, septembre 13, 2004

new york new york. just arrived at eva's apartment with a bad headache. gawd it hurts like a motherfucker. i'm looking for a stereo so that i can play something loud.

i think we're going to try to meet maia + ava in the west village.

oh shit eva's got a murakami toy on her desk! rawk on!
it's pretty hard isn't it, to un-fall.

vendredi, septembre 10, 2004

how does one fall in love with a distance voice, an email, a present, or a pink sticky tag with tiny words and sketches, if you can't see, touch, or feel that person next to you?
interesting bits on social interface design from joel (on software).

gawd i'm still coughing like a motherfucker.

jeudi, septembre 09, 2004

you know, i really ought to be busy busy with that research on ambulatory care but somehow today feels slow. ass-slow.

i do not think i've got a hangover this morning. last night evan and i went for two pitchers at the other side. ended up drunk but not wasted which i suppose is good.

and today the sky is overcast bright but not blinding bright, though maybe i wish it were. and across street there's a girl framed by white drapes, tap tap tapping away on her mac. i wonder what she's working on.

baby where are you tu me manques terriblement!



(ps) oh yeah, and we're having a noveau frigo party demain, come if you can!

i'm studying ambulatory care today!

mercredi, septembre 08, 2004

c'est bizarre n'est pas? ces jours la, j'ai senti plus seul que des mois precedent.

mardi, septembre 07, 2004

There’s a dream that I see, I pray it can be
Look cross the land, shake this land
A wish or a command
I Dream that I see, don’t kill it, it’s free
You’re just a man, you get what you can

We all do what we can
So we can do just one more thing
We can all be free
Maybe not in words
Maybe not with a look
But with your mind
i dreamt that there were two strange people standing outside my bedroom window. i'm not sure how that would have worked since i live on the fourth floor but whatever. i looked out and spotted them looking in at me. they came in through the windows and then i found myself at the top of the stairwell screaming to my brother who was a floor below.

couldn't really sleep after that.
it's about two and leonard's feeling quite hungry. he's made it all the way till now on just a red-eye (with space for milk) and he's wondering how much farther he can go.

ok so i've found something on amazon.com for $20.99 and i need $4.01 to qualify for FREE Super Saver Shipping.

someone suggest something.

lundi, septembre 06, 2004

we got tickets to morrissey at the orpheum. sweeet.

on another note, ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space, ouais c'est l'accord parfait, however nothing gets crossed out but rather displaced. everybody's talking about joy being just like heaven. barnacles. sit down. regret. contratempo, say what you want, i'm the luckiest guy on the lower east side. or maybe the first of the gang to die. whatever, here comes your man, this charming man. now let's save tony orlando's house.

vendredi, septembre 03, 2004

today.
today is amazing. it's gorgeous and golden out, i've brunched at the busy bee, i've got all my favorite songs playing, and i've got my coffee.

(and she called five minutes ago, all excited about her consulting offer!)

ooh here's another good song. ebtg.

jeudi, septembre 02, 2004

maia says she's got to wave her goodbyes at some clambake - i'm hoping we can escape the office before five.

i'm totally groovin' out to tosca | busenfreund . omigawd i just (just!) realized that i've got monday off (or i think i do). kam and shem, and eelyn and her roommate are visiting for the weekend and i'm totally going to get tanked. tired? out of it? heck, i'll party in your place.
it's three pm. that means (my roommate) luke's biologue radio show is on. check it out!

((( listen listen listen )))

he insists he's going to talk about issues in biology and culture and media and stem cells and shit but i think he's going to wuss out and just play music.

((( listen listen listen )))

it's so cold in the office that my fingers are getting numb.

today has been somewhat good and i'm getting groovy with belle and sebastian. maybe just maybe, i'll find some time to get to the darkroom tonight.

hey pauline - it was I (me! and leo! and secretariat!) reading the diary!

mercredi, septembre 01, 2004

this is annoying. i've progressively gotten more antsy and i'm not really sure why. come on, someone give me a vague clue something anything. i've been running through cd after cd trying to find something to focus to but no miracles have appeared. and now my head hurts like a motherfucker and i'm not in any mood to keep on going through this documentation crap and it's not that i hate messaging people but somehow it's all becoming really noisy and loud and everything's screaming in my head and it's really beautiful outside so maybe i should just run out, or go running, or find a cigarette or open a bottle of wine.

there's a silver keychain with a blue hawaii logo on it and i'm not sure who it belongs to.

my head is seriously screwing me over.



apricot tea.
haven't lived afro pop.

maia leaves friday to take over manhattan and all outlying areas. and there's a little gathering this evening with a forecast of some heavy drinking.

ones all over the place.
she says she likes this one. and the next.