samedi, novembre 27, 2004

vendredi, novembre 26, 2004

page fifty-six with dntel in the background.
i really ought to be working but i'm suddenly forty-two pages into the sun also rises.
(( a sphere in the heart of silence ))

i'm hiding in my bedroom with the stereo set to Loud. discovered two voicemails from two different people regarding the same adventure - everyone seems to be heading to the clubs tonight. i don't know if i'm going. i don't know if i'm returning any calls. wish i had some ritalin or something to help me focus.

there's light from the desklamp reflecting off a mogwai cd and making a halo on the wall. there's a faint blue green diamond in the center of the halo. i don't think i've listened to that cd for more than 10 minutes. i should check it out again. i heard it's good.

i finally finished white noise. transient pleasures, drastic measures.

and on sunday i leave for san francisco. somehow i've been getting remarkably anxious before flights.

mardi, novembre 23, 2004

listening to starguitar reminds me of crackling snow along the way to the lechmere t stop, winter of 2002, red line, davis square, teele square, oh there's bus 87-88, belknap, oh i'm home.
( these days | joy division )

i told pauline today that we just have to write a book about her adventures in hawaii and my adventures in boston. it will be called:

East Coast - West West Coast!

and once we sell it to the publishers we'll make like so much money that we could possibly maybe afford to pay off our loans and credit card bills.



samedi, novembre 20, 2004

i'm happylistening to yo la tengo's season of the shark. i think i'd like to buy the album but i've promised myself not to spend anymore, at least for a few weeks. maybe till christmas or something. i have to at least try.

please don’t be afraid,
no matter how much out there scares you so,
scares you so.
just look around,
if it’s not me then someone else you know,
and i don’t belong at all.
ignore the shadows on the wall
- they don’t mean a thing.

moving on to a different topic, i'm actually staying off IM to avoid someone. i know it's childish and embarrassing, and i think she's probably even aware.

jeudi, novembre 18, 2004

some songs you just want to not ever end.
( drug of the day )
illy espresso with a bit of cream.

sip, do not gulp.

mercredi, novembre 17, 2004

gosh i'm exhausted. bumped into a glass of warre's otima (10 year old) porto that was conveniently waiting for me by the dining table. serendipity i tell you. but yes i've a story to tell:

the Great Gatsby.

so i don't have very many pictures (yet) from the birthday party but i've put some photos (of polaroids) on the wall. we'd bought a camera a few weeks back with the plan of documenting our parties - so what better day to begin than at the BESTEST, MOST AMAZING PARTY OF THE YEAR?

right on!

but things were good. really good. somehow i felt so incredibly happy the entire night. everyone that mattered was at the party and everyone was just so immaculately dressed. people put in the effort to dress for our party! we went through 27 or 28 bottles of wine, some champagne, several bottles of liquor and gawd knows what else. anna made the most amazing hors d'oeuvres and that disappeared in a heartbeat.

oh the guests made us proud! they came in flapper dresses and flowy gowns, ties, hats, feather boas, suspenders, tuxedos, and three-piece suits... and at one point someone stopped the music and luke and jeff came out serenading anna with Automatic Stop (by the strokes)!

and dinner before totally rawked. i mean really. we appeared at the restaurant and everyone was looking at us (all 13) and wondering what we were up to - people actually asked where we were going, if we were part of a show or something. but more importantly, it was a dinner of close friends, of everyone being just really comfortable around each other and just talking about everything but not needing any of it to matter really.

Dear friends : :

Dear friends : :

Thank you for joining us on Saturday in our birthday celebration. Everyone looked awesome in their outfits!!

Much Love,
: : Anna & Leo

lundi, novembre 15, 2004

we just took a myers-briggs personality test for class. i'm an ENFP.

Extroverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving

so... i guess i am? at some point everything seems to sound the same.

Ritz bits

Ritz bits

Missed breakfast this morning (ok fine that's typical) so I've been forced to survive on New England Coffee and Ritz Crackers with Peanut Butter, and now I've got crumbs all over. Feeling much much better this morning - had an overwhelming case of post-drinking-depression the entire yesterday. But I think it's ok now.

samedi, novembre 13, 2004

pauline's envious that we've snow in boston. and i'm jealous that i don't get any free massages from a pro.

but really pauline, it's in the process of turning all gooey slushy and the bottoms of my jeans have been getting kinda wet.

oh! oh! the sun's come out from behind the clouds!

vendredi, novembre 12, 2004

anna and i made lights for the party.

the tuxes are ready. the apartment is ready. anna and israel are in charge of appetizers and snacks. jeff and i are in charge of 24 bottles of wine (with our own wine labels)! and then there's the pre-party dinner for fourteen.

oh this is going to be good.
researching music for the party tomorrow night. it's surprisingly hard to find 1920s jazz that seems apt enough. or perhaps that i like enough to buy.

oh and in a moment of weakness, i purchased something last night: dark grey with blue and purple pin stripes. happiness with a dash of worry as to how leonard's going to pay for it. i'll just brush it off as a birthday present of sorts and figure it out later.

pauline it's snowing!

jeudi, novembre 11, 2004



At the eleven party. Drunk by now. Waiting for people. Whoah.

Addendum: i'd gone to the party as maiya's date (a political instrument of sorts really) - an effort to squash any office rumors on the brink of boiling. we got thoroughly drunk and there were quite a few attractive people at the party but i think that our faux-romantic antics might have scared all the eligible targets off. but i had a good time.

dimanche, novembre 07, 2004


you probably know who you are.

we used to run to each other only when we had no one else. but i think that time has passed and it's probably better that we've nothing to do with the other.

samedi, novembre 06, 2004


i'm all comfy beneath a dark red blanket on a dark red sofa. and nestled amongst a billion yellow and orange pillows.

which isn't too bad considering that i have work to do. or am trying to get done at this point. i'm in new york monday morning through wednesday evening and yes that's awesome but not really because i don't think i'll get to meet up with anyone while i'm there because i've been informed the meetings might go till late late. and there's quite a bit that i haven't been writing about for a while. people flying to visit for the weekend. halloween and spiked alcohol. birthday dinners.

i don't know. but as it stands i guess i've been busy.

the leaves from across my window have fallen. gold and orange and faint faint green all gone. and i'm listening to the new matador at 15 cd. which is quite a good mix really. for some reason my face feels sunburnt.

jeudi, novembre 04, 2004

i live in boston, a quaint little city on the eastern coast of the

empire of the united states.

yeah that's how fucked up it is.

mardi, novembre 02, 2004

omigosh i haven't felt this despondent for ever. everything seems to fucking suck. this project crap is far from done and i've neither energy nor passion to continue. what the hell is going on. need to throw myself against a wall or something.
i wonder if i'm hungry. alors, j'ai fume.

almost done laying out the type for the paper invites - enough that i don't want to delete the psd file. and i've put that aside to get back into the ambulatory care project. tired but somehow i do need to push on. i've managed to wave off the need to play gta san andreas but i can feel it waiting at the sides of my mind.

luke's put radiohead on. myxomatosis. staring at a blue Mead notebook filled with scribblings about med assistants and billing sheets and cpt codes.

i've the urge to find some food. i bought forty bucks worth of food at the japanese store this evening, i should be able to find some bloody food to eat.

but i can't think of anything.

i need to get a tuxedo shirt in the next few days. and lawrence's present.
i put some pasta on boil. my head has started hurting. i can smell the sadness of the winter onslaught. dry, matt black evenings, barren daylight.