dimanche, juillet 31, 2005


Adam, making a booty call while Jess et moi look on. Who's he calling? Who's he calling? We're slowly getting drunk from the KaliMotxos.

( sent from heaven by elroar )

mercredi, juillet 27, 2005

Iz and chess

(( roaming roaming ))

( sent from heaven by elroar )

dimanche, juillet 24, 2005

jetlag had me awake at six seven this morning and i ran over to trident cafe but it was closed so i ran over to starbucks and it was open and i had an espresso and did some work reading until it got too cold and then i had to leave the air conditioned cafe for the sun outside.

vendredi, juillet 22, 2005

We started out the late afternoon in the baby pool (oh yes) with silver cans of Coors Light floating about like ice cubes. Then late afternoon became early evening, and the evening became colder and we had to get out of the water. And then we pulled a stray cable-TV cable up and across the deck et voila we had a net, and so we played volleyball with a Dora-the-Explorer inflatable until Iz or Jeff (or me or Jeremy) whacked it over the edge of the roof and down into a neighbor's patio.

Then there was a food decision to be made and so we got changed and walked over to the Eastern Standard for food but they said, there's a half hour wait, and thus we waited, but first attempting to get into the Foundation Lounge, however the bouncer went, sorry we can't let in people in shorts, and so we returned to the Eastern Standard and got glasses of PBR and I think Israel spoke or flirted with the tall hostess and she quickly got us a nice table outside.

jeudi, juillet 21, 2005

overwhelmingly depressed for some reason or other.

on another note, a headhunter called maybe fifteen twenty minutes ago. it was a so-so call. i'm not really in any state right now to coherently think about this.

mardi, juillet 19, 2005

Whooopee hoo, oh no i'm not jetlagged. I just happen to be awake at trois heures le matin.

Maiya calls while I'm sleeping. I crawl about, find the cellphone and she goes "Baaaatman! Will we see each other tomorrow?"

I'm utterly confused and she tells me it's ten in the morning Singapore time and I freak the fuck out, wondering how I've already slept twelve hours till the morning. Besides, "It still looks dark out," I mumble, struggling and trying to look beyond the orange curtains. It looks dark out. I'm fucking tired. I bury my face in the pillow and mumble some more.

"What do you mean it's ten in the morning? It can't be. What's going on?"

I-just-went-to-bed. It-is-dark-out. I-am-fucking-confused.

"Huh? Oh no no no, it's ten in the morning Sing-ga-pore time. It's TEN PEE-EMM right now, here in Boston. It's okay, it's okay. You're tired. Go to sleep."

dimanche, juillet 17, 2005

after about 30 hours of plane and transit time, i find myself in newark, new jersey.

they lost the pilot.

somehow he ended up in fucking baltimore.

so they're waiting for him to fly over here and then bring us to boston. with an estimated arrival time of 10 pm, that makes it about 36 hours of travelling.

i want a shower and my bed.

samedi, juillet 16, 2005

i'm in tokyo again, in a far corner of the JAL lounge staring out at planes coming and going. there are too many clouds today and there's not a trace of blue in the sky. there's a plane with its exhaust blurring up parts of the building and runway. i think it's about ten in the morning. my connecting flight departs at four in the afternoon. they've got a cool beer machine with a mechanical arm that tilts your glass as it pours the beer out. i'm tempted to have a beer just to play with the machine.

at the beginning i wanted to leave. and near the end i wanted to stay, for just a bit longer.

it's strange living and being so far away from family. from mother, brother, sister, grandmother. there wasn't very much else that i cared to see or do whilst there. i frequently say that everything's just a plane ride away but i still miss you all. a plane ride's still forever from now. where are we all going?

sometimes and always it's out of sight, out of mind. and it's good and it's bad but we just deal with it.

vendredi, juillet 15, 2005

( day 15 )

she hands me a little black box with a little black ribbon around it. "here," she says. i open the box and there's a white silk pocket square. underneath, there's a black leather and silver money clip from hugo boss. at some point, she looks up, purses her lips and then asks, "are you going to call me?"

mardi, juillet 12, 2005

we're a dysfunctional family, but we would die for each other. and that's all that matters really.

vendredi, juillet 08, 2005

( day 7 )

awake. tu me manques. i wonder what she's up to. i need to see dad today. meeting my sister and the lawyers at about noon to sign some estate documents. i want to be happy. i want to be happy.

met glenn and sunil for beers at emerald hill. sunil's back from japan for the weekend. singapore bars are intensely smoky and i think i might be falling sick. we ended up at Pot Black playing billiards and gambling small stakes. i think i made $14 but i don't think i bothered to collect.

it's almost five on a friday morning and i should probably go to bed.

mercredi, juillet 06, 2005

( day 6 )

morning. wednesday. up early. i want to go running but i'm locked out and away from my clothes. i almost go crazy reading society magazines for an hour. there's a photo of mom and aunty ivy in last month's issue.

. . .

afternoon. lunch and wandering around with freda.

"are you happy?"


"i suppose. i was happy the new year's eve before, with my mother and sister and brother at the Grand Hyatt. champagne intoxicated and happy. very happy."

i want to say i was happy when dad was around. but i don't.

"i have nothing left here."

i get postcards. and then go for drinks with sharon, lawrence and mommy. i was supposed to have dinner with chrissy but she's at work late. i wonder if i'll see her this trip.

i made a mixed cd.

lundi, juillet 04, 2005

( day 4 )

monday. i wander around Orchard Road with mommy and lawrence. we try to watch the 145pm batman movie but it's out of good seats so lawrence gets War of the Worlds instead. it's okay. not that great. we end up at a cafe arguing with mother. she insists that humans were being secretly eaten. i think we make a bet about something. we escape mother and head to a bar for late afternoon drinks. we're pretty drunk by 630pm and then take a cab over to Holland Village for dinner and post dinner drinks.
i am quite exhausted.

i got up this morning at about seven. bumped into mommy in the living room then ended up accompanying her to the kandang kerbau wet market. i was immensely curious about the market and tried hard to courageously wander around the butcher, fishmonger, vegetable and fruits stalls.

oh wait, i have to go. be back.

dimanche, juillet 03, 2005

( day 2 )

saturday. the wedding. the wedding dinner. phone call. the suits are ready at 3pm. i should probably take an afternoon nap.

. . .

glenn, lawrence and i meet toby at the bottom of the grand staircase at the Four Seasons hotel. mommy gave pearls to the bride. we say our hellos and how are yous and then quickly find our drinks. we find a marble side table just outside the ballroom and station ourselves there with our drinks, light our cigarettes, and people watch.

. . .

we're in room 16-15 with the bride, groom, wedding planner and some other kids. we get the bride and groom to do wine shots with us. "hey let's go to Zouk!" the bride screams "yeah let's!" and then proceeds to march towards the door but she doesn't make it that far. she's pretty drunk and slurring badly. actually we're all getting pretty drunk.

. . .

we walk past a line waiting to get into the Velvet Underground. lawrence waves to a bouncer and we walk right in. it's crowded and we decide to go to one of the other bars. we're at the member's lounge at Zouk. lawrence and i get to the bar and this one girl starts hitting on us but i don't know what she's saying. she goes to make out with some other girl and then comes back. i wonder if that's her girlfriend/boyfriend. i'm close to fucking wasted at the point but we drink on. we get through 4 pitchers of green tea + martell. lawrence insists that we also did irish carbombs but i really don't remember.