jeudi, décembre 28, 2006

what is it, maybe three, four days till the new year?

where are we now.

( phoenix | north )

today i didn't have to go into the office but i did and i got a glass of water and i sat on the red couch and i read the latest new yorker and i listened to the latest phoenix album. incidentally i haven't had a drink in (just) over a week.

it's almost three in the afternoon and the sun is still up but if you look far out you can see the pink coming in.

a week ago my aunt called and said hey i'm leaving for france tomorrow. you should come stay with your cousins in brittany. and then we'll be in paris till the end of january. try to come.

one or two weeks ago my mom said hey you should come home. you should come to singapore.

vendredi, décembre 08, 2006

there's a party tomorrow. o there's a party tomorrow.

samedi, novembre 04, 2006


I've just had one of the greatest birthdays ever I tell you.

First Michelle and Luke and Dan were like, hey let's go out for dinner - what about Ruth's Chris? And I really like steak and Ruth's Chris so I immediately go fuck yeah that would be awesome. And we dress up and go for some incredible food.

And after dinner we're all drunk and woozy and I'm running back into the apartment yelling Hey I'm Going To Open Another Bottle Of Wine, and I grab a bottle from my room and run into the living room and then notice maybe ten fifteen people hanging out, staring back at me.

What the fuck's going on? I remember thinking.

SURPRISE! they yell, and I'm stunned. Wah? What the fuck's going on? Holy fuck. And I'm happyshocked and pleased and confused but all my favorite people were there and you know, it was just really nice.

Here's me being retarded with some cake:


The very next day Anna and Maiya dictate that they're bringing me out on a hot date and that I should just get all dressed up and wait at home. At about eight the next evening I get a call and I run downstairs and I see the two girls all dolled up and gorgeous and with matching flowers pinned on. Maiya comes up and pins a flower on my jacket and I'm just thinking fuck yeah this is so cool.

We jet off to B&G Oysters and people notice the flowers and they keep asking us where we're coming from and if we're celebrating something.

One lady asked us if we were in some secret club.

mardi, octobre 31, 2006

i had an early lunch today. cantonese noodles tossed in egg and butter (kinda like a carbonara), salt, pepper, topped with ventresca tuna and fresh chilli padi. so good.

lundi, octobre 30, 2006


yes, those rabbit ears threw me off.


    hit me.


    i said hit me!

what are you?

     hit me and i'll tell you!


     i'm a PIN-YA-TA!

- - - - -



yeah, you kinda need to punch him like that. then activate your pulsar beam. see this arm movement!? the thrust?! click - pulsar beam on. kapow. like french fry.

- - - -



"oh god i'm so fucked!"
"wow, like really?"
"yeah really!"

aaaah! you won't believe who came to the party!


let's totally rock this party! aaaaaaah!

"hello? oh hey! you totally have to come to the party! yeah! kenmore? holy crap i live near kenmore! come over! awesome!"

"dude, the keg's kicked!"
"fuck. really?"
"i can't believe we let this happen man. we really need to get two kegs the next time. this sucks."
"wait. i have some backup wine."

"i'm hungry."

mardi, octobre 10, 2006

i am almost completely out of money and as such, i will attempt to change some of my ways. at least for an entire month.

( an exercise in temporary restraint )
- no more amazon-spending
- no more cd shopping
- no books
- no shopping (en generale)
- no more fine dining
- if i go to new york, i will no longer take the delta shuttle
- i will attempt to eat at home more often

so god help me.

vendredi, octobre 06, 2006

there are days when i am overwhelmed by the smallest of things. last night was horrid. this morning sucked. but then i got into the car and i started driving and i turned the radio on and emerson radio was on and there were these songs and i don't know, things became okay and i smiled.

skipping ahead, it's about one in the morning now.

everyone's awake. lawrence is on the playstation. luke, dabbling with garageband. michelle on the phone. me, by the dining table waiting for a phone call. mildly annoyed. frustrated.

tomorrow we leave for new york. hopefully it will be a good weekend.

vendredi, septembre 29, 2006

fuckin' a, i left my phone out in the rain today and it stopped working right, even worse, it's bloody discolored. fuck.

anyways, we're in essex, vermont, with the furukawas. everyone's here and there's a ton of wine, sashimi, yaki soba, all good delicious stuff. i think mother's quite excited to have a friend (mrs furukawa/hideko) around.


gotta go.

mercredi, septembre 20, 2006

in the office today. watching the sun come running in.

mercredi, août 30, 2006

I like it when the lights go off.

We're on a train hurtling towards Boston. It's been a gorgeous calming ride. We boarded at Penn Station New York. And right now we're moving up the coast and I can see what seems like a million sailboats. The sky's a warm orange.

The coast is terribly beautiful. I do like taking the train.

Earlier there was a guy sitting across the aisle who started playing with a music box of sorts. I was on the verge of getting annoyed and pissed off but then it reminded me of that Aphex Twin piece Nanook and suddenly I was fine with it.

We walked down a few cars and checked out the food carriage but there was nothing except stale sandwiches and cans of cheap soda.

I like it when the lights go off in the train. Sudden darkness except for tiny inset ceiling lamps. The darkening sky takes over and you can almost smell the clouds, the trees, notice shimmering lights from distance buildings and towns.

mardi, août 29, 2006

and on the sixth day, there was a big fucking party.

lundi, juillet 17, 2006

there is something about water.

we're a few miles from vineyard haven and i'm out on a porch by the water and everything feels clean, everything is alright. from time to time, a boat passes by with its engines bubbling and breaking the silence, and then it disappears and you hear the water and the birds again.


i'm balancing a teacup and saucer filled with scotch on my lap - luke and i weren't sure if mo's parents would be cool with us drinking this early.

there is the scent of garlic from the kitchen and i've been told that we're having shrimp and scallops this evening. most everyone is downstairs sun-dried and exhausted.

it's really nice here. happy. content. away from everything.


earlier today there was a path just outside of edgartown. it curved left and right and wound about itself, and then there were these shrubs and bushes that grew up high and reached over and across and created a doorway that led us towards a little lighthouse. there was a tiny beach by the lighthouse and we dropped our bags and towels and ran into the water.


"it's fucking cold." someone yelled. maybe i did. maybe jess or mo.

some of us stood by the water and just stared out.

dimanche, juin 18, 2006

So we're looking for a new roommate. Jeff is moving to Sin City and we've posted on craigslist in search of someone who's crazy, brilliant, awesome, and an alcoholic.

It sucks to have to reject people. Especially if they are cool. In any event, we've prepared a rejection letter that we hope will minimize any sore feelings.



Thank you for your interest in the apartment.

We regret to inform you that the position of 4th roommate has been filled. Luke’s long lost cousin, Mikhailovich (Mikha) from Western Shlekbakistan unexpectedly appeared on our doorstep and we have little choice but to offer him a safe haven (for the time being). His country is on the brink of civil war and it would break our hearts to have to turn him away.

Prior to seeking asylum in the United States of A., Mikha studied Satellite Engineering and Eastern European Literature at the Ivanano State Power University. He also played xylophone for the Shlekbakistan Youth Empire Orchestra. Mikha is 26 years old and single.

Let us wish him welcome in his native tongue:

“Chee-cah-chee-kah-mak-ah on-dotcho-vich – Mikha!”

“Mikha! May the gods of your cousins’ gods bless you and your motor vehicle!”

Welcome indeed! And once again, I apologize. It seems such a tumultuous mix of bad and good news.

Regrets and regards,
Luke, Daniel, Leonard

vendredi, juin 16, 2006

we're having a little party tomorrow. and we made a short music video.

mardi, mai 30, 2006

i have not had a drink since friday. today is... hm... tuesday... 1, 2, 3, 4 days. wow this is some sort of record for 2006.

in any event, the sun is going down and i am in the office. things to do things to do things to do. the cellphone is off and it's nice that it's off.

dimanche, mai 21, 2006

how did we meet? i was on a train somewhere along the redline and sat beside this random girl. blond. funky. definitely some attitude going there. probably a knife hidden in her back pocket.

"hey there."


and then she offered me a swig of whiskey off her hipflask. at about park street i said, hey would you like to go for a drink and she said yes and we went over to the Littlest Bar, which is actually really the littlest bar in boston. i remember sitting on some steps just outside. she had this pinkish lipstick on and a pink ipod in her bag and i said, how are you doing, and she said i'm good, how are you doing?

i was good.

a few jacks and a few cokes and we found our way to another bar. maybe it was the Rattlesnake. maybe it was somewhere else. but there was a roof and you could smoke there and we rattled on about the randomest things and then somehow we came up with a plan to continue further down boylston. well i was drunk so i'm not sure where we went next but somehow we found ourselves at Clio (which is actually this nice french-japanese place on mass ave) and the maitre'd said hm, i think it's going to take about an hour. we looked at each other and said, that's cool, you've got a bar and we've got time.

lundi, avril 17, 2006

it's marathon monday and everyone's up on the roof with the grill and keg and kathy's desserts from easter.

i'm in my room and i'm not quite sure but i seem to be experiencing a panic attack of some kind.

mercredi, avril 12, 2006

Snow and Leo at The Other Side on a Wednesday evening. Boddingtons. Pinot grigio. Boddingtons. Pinot grigio. Pinot grigio.

"How much time do we have?"

"About 20 minutes."

"Okay, that's enough time to have a drink or two somewhere else."

dimanche, avril 02, 2006

oh god i'm really fucking hungover right now.

dimanche, mars 26, 2006

alright leonard: you need lights by the left side of the bed, up on the wall. one, two, three, maybe four. up, up, up. next to the tall stack of books.

project. project.

samedi, mars 18, 2006

this is jenn. jenn is currently somewhere in japan. she likes dressing in a kimono.

hello jenn,

how have you been? i have been good, not too bad i guess. we had a party last night. saint patrick's day, also known as Evacuation Day to the boston schoolkids. i didn't black out but somehow i don't remember much of it. i know what you're thinking: perhaps leonard drank a bit too much?

no such thing.

in any event, i had an amazing time. AH-MAZING.

only thing was, i got up at about noon this afternoon parched and dehydrated and with a mild case of post-drinking-depression:

fuck i can't believe i said that last night.

fuck i did that?

my gawd. this is downright embarrassing.

okay. i should stop now. it is a saturday night and we have several pitchers of killian's irish red in front of us.

take care!


mardi, mars 14, 2006

party on friday.
party on friday.
party on friday.

lundi, mars 13, 2006

"gawd, i don't even know why i'm cooking right now. why am i even hungry?"

"that's because you're stoned."

"oh okay, that's alright then."

jeudi, mars 02, 2006

we are hosting a cocktail party for sixteen tomorrow evening. and i have just realized that while i'm pretty good (seriously now) at dinner parties with menus of three, six or nine courses, i don't know shit about cocktails and hors d'oeuvres.

mild panic is setting in.

mercredi, mars 01, 2006

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent.

For the next forty days I will be giving up:
- shopping (stuff like CDs, clothes, random stuff, food is okay)
- cigarettes

I will also be limiting myself to One Coffee A Day. God help me.

lundi, février 27, 2006

"I really wanted us to work out. I really did."

ohmigawd belle and sebastian playing at avalon tonight! the new pornographers to open!


(neko i love you!)

mardi, février 21, 2006

Back from everywhere,
but here. Sit. Shuffle, deal, breathe.
Play. Don’t run away.

lundi, février 20, 2006

Jen and Leonard Visit Napa Valley

(originally an email to jessica scott and ahmad khalil)

how was matchpoint?

on FRIDAY we:
were late for a reservation at macarthur park,
so we had a late dinner at tamarine,
and then we went to a keg party at stanford where there were too many guys.
but at least jen and i were the best looking couple there.
(we definitely took consolation in that.)

got up late and had brunch at hobees,
then jumped in the car and drove across the golden gate bridge,
and found ourselves in sonoma,
and tasted wine and bought balsamic vinegar and garlic oil at viansa vineyards,
raced towards kunde winery and drank drank more wine,
then we appeared at chateau saint jean and drank some more,
what's next oh coffee in cute little healdsburg (really cute),
jen bought these cool french espadrilles from a girl who was repairing her earrings,

and then we got lost in north napa

and it got dark

and we started panicking

but then we entered this magical forest where the trees held hands and we found a bright yellow brick road that led us back to napa.

"where the fuck's our hotel?" jen asked.
"it should be right here... or there..."

but it wasn't.

"THERE IT IS!" i screamed when i saw a bright blue sign saying CHATEAU HOTEL.

long story short(er), we found ourselves late for another dinner reservation but the people at angele were really cool and seated us even though we were almost an hour late. veal, monkfish, mac and cheese, brussel sprouts. wine. more wine. more wine. then we went back to the hotel and plotted to rule the world.

tried to go for brunch but everywhere was crowded
so we opted instead for glasses of champagne at mumm,
and then ran over to opus one for the most expensive tasting ever,
(and it was actually really, really, really good.)
then we started driving back.
an orange light came on and we screamed "oh fuck we're almost out of gas!"
and prayed that we'd at least be able to coast downhill from some high up mountain.
in any event, god sent us a gas station (that accepted credit cards),
and we got back to civilization.


jen and leo

( more photos! click! )

mercredi, février 15, 2006

La Jolla, California.

mardi, février 14, 2006

i was late for the flight but i made it to san diego. where the sky screams of blue and the air is salty and pleasant. "i want to go to the beach tomorrow," i said last night as we drove back to the hotel.

i want to go to the beach today.

when do i give up all the cards, maybe move to the next table?
when should i cut and run?

jeudi, février 09, 2006

Running about in Colorado. Denver, Silverthorn, Copper, Vail.

samedi, février 04, 2006

it rained a shitload last night but we went out anyways. maiya and i, to the design continuum winter party. we rode an elevator thirty three floors up to the State Room where the windows were supposed to look out over the city's financial district. it was foggy rainy out so we tried to pretend we were high up in the clouds.

i brought a flask of whiskey along but it got confiscated when i passed it over to chris for a sip or two. thank god i was already pretty fucking trashed. it's called planning ahead.

lundi, janvier 23, 2006

++ finalized finalized ++

boston massachusetts
denver colorado
san diego california
palo alto california
boston massachusetts

soon! soon!

dimanche, janvier 22, 2006

dear dad,


love. always.
- leonard

mardi, janvier 17, 2006

ava, you
leave the coolest, longest, most fantastic voicemails ever.


will call you. soon.


mardi, janvier 10, 2006

i'm working with a whiskey in one hand and tea in the other. we're all working. luke reading a paper. dan earning rent with poker. someone put devotchka in the cd player.

i sent her this poem by e.e. cummings:

(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)

lundi, janvier 09, 2006

burlington, vermont. thursday, friday, saturday, sunday.

snow met me at south station and we had lunch, coffee, then a cigarette. i'll see you sometime i guess i said. we snarled, and then we waved au revoir. she gave me a politically incorrect book to read on the bus.

the bus broke down at montpelier and it became a four, five, six, seven hour trip. god i need a cigarette, i thought as the bus rolled into the vermont transit line station.


on friday pauline and i wandered up and down church street. i need to find a card for my grandfather, she said. one of the first cards was of a sunset and reminded me of death and the afterlife. are you sure this is cool? i asked. and once you get into that sort of thinking, everything starts looking sad and depressing and all about the afterlife. especially flowers and fields.


saturday i had my first massage appointment ever. i started tense, but spaced out for the rest of the hour. it was good. and after, i remember walking down church street, then college, then some other street. i liked not being able to think about anything. i'd start thinking too much and then freaking out and then a minute later i was walking towards lake champlain. i wonder if i can see champ from here, i thought.


sunday. i finished microserfs on the bus. there was a girl from brown sitting beside me and we talked for a bit but then i thought she talked a bit too loudly and i had to hide in my book.

sunday. first work day of the year on monday. i should be tired but i guess i'm not. not really. i don't want to be afraid of sleep.

to the new year, we toasted, if you could toast with cigarettes, as luke and i stood smoking outside the apartment. to a good year. to a better year.

mardi, janvier 03, 2006

I do not know if I am angry. I am drunk, frustrated, annoyed. With a cigarette in hand, and somehow happy.

"Do you think it looks good?" she asks, pulling her hair back behind her ear.

"I like it."

I put down my cigarette and lean forward to adjust the tiny earring. Heart-shaped. Silver Tiffany.

And when we kiss, it is perfume, champagne and whiskey, and sweet, bitter cigarettes, with her hair cradling our faces, our noses teasing, and her earrings tinkling softly.

This is the sound of me faltering. Dizzy. Staring back at her.

I am obsessive and I am compulsive and I tend to ask too many questions. When did it all begin to unravel? When did things change? When did I push her away? And how far? It is useless for me to harbor on these things but I do, I do, I do, and I must stop.

What we have now is precious and I should move on from here, and not what I thought we had.
It is early morning on the third day of the new year and this much I believe is true:

- I still have trouble sleeping.
- There has been too much self destruction.
- I really miss you dad.
- I love my friends dearly but I hide a lot from them.
- I do not talk to my family as much as I should.
- (I do not want to admit this but) I spend too much, too frivolously.
- I sleep better with someone beside me.
- I do not want to but I shall have to stop smoking. (Maybe next week.)
- I miss her dearly and even though it hurt, it was good to have fallen this badly.
- I should have more faith in God, and in myself.
- Life has been amazing but I am quite afraid of the year to come.

dimanche, janvier 01, 2006

"We're going outside? But I'm wearing the golden heels!"

"What about those boots?"

"Oh my mukluks! You're right, but wait - the heels go so well with my little black dress!"

And so Jen went with the golden heels and it was one, two, three drinks at the Eastern Standard. They were already there with a bottle of red and appetizers along the way. Anna waving hey with her sleek black gloves and her hair pulled back. Israel and JP in dark suits and drinks in their hands. Maiya sitting by the table in cashmere and a pink-black outfit.

Ron appeared, and then Erica and Alison, a manhattan, and a whiskey smash. "Hey what's that taste like?" she asked. And there was a pretty blond from out of town with her eyes painted black. Someone asked her to the party but I'm not sure if she ever came. "She said she's going to check out the Foundation Lounge first," he told me as he reached for his drink.


We practiced counting down and toasting at ten o'clock but someone cried out, what the hell are you doing?

There was a momentary tussle over the music playlist but I was too drunk to pay attention. "Who was that girl who kept changing the music?" she asked. "Who was that music nazi?" the other girl wondered aloud a day later.

At some point Dick Clark was on the projector and people screamed out ten, nine, eight till one and then ran about kissing friends and strangers, and toasted and spilled champagne and wine.

Erin called from New York and I got to talk to Timm. Snow called and we made drunken plans for the week. We tried calling Mo in DC but we couldn't get through.

We went through forty, maybe fifty bottles. Everyone thought the red jelloshots were especially strong. Just before passing out at three, I found Jen sitting on the black couch with red chopsticks and a take-out box of lomein. She swears it never happened.

We found Patrick in the morning on the black couch listening to Radiohead with his tie undone and his eyes half open. He says he made out with someone but he's not sure who.


The last good hours of the year. The first few hours of the new one.